Craigslist posting that I actually responded to…

Needed: Fake girlfriend for graduation dinner – m4w – 28 (West Village)
Date: 2010-04-12, 11:51PM EDT
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In four weeks I will graduate from law school. An event at which my parents will (unfortunately) be present. The problem is that my somewhat overbearing mother lives in perpetual fear of dying without grandchildren. (This does not mean I wish to breed with you.) I contribute to my mother’s perpetual fear by remaining perpetually single. However, for graduation, an event that she has anticipated for years, I would love to give her the impression that there is hope for me yet. Plus, I am in desperate need of a buffer.

The plan is:

On Wednesday May 12th, you, an intelligent and reasonably personable young lady, will accompany me to my formal graduation dinner with my parents. The dinner is at ********, formal attire required. There will be an open bar (it’d be great if you know how to hold your liquor). All you have to do is make witty and pleasant conversation with my slightly insane but friendly folks, in which I will assist to the best of my abilities.

A little bit about me: I am a friendly young man who struggles with the fact that most people at law school kind of, in all honesty, suck. I’m heading off to work at the public defenders office in ***** at the end of the summer. Contrary to all positive impressions of the lawyering profession, doing something decent with your degree isn’t all that popular. Thus, there ain’t no good law school dates to be found. I’m capable of a good conversation on pretty much anything, but especially anything involving philosophy, comics, how the Catholic Church crushes the dreams of little deaf boys, or baseball (among other things).

There is obviously no expectation of anything other than your company for what ought to be a delightful evening.

Basically, I’m hoping this will be fun. We’ll get to pretend for an evening that we’re in some sort of awesome, auspicious relationship, and my folks will freakin love it. I get the benefit of a lovely and sociable buffer to make my evening more bearable, and you get a delicious dinner and an open bar plus the chance to dress up and be appreciated for it. There will be dancing (but I can only promise to dance moderately well). Then we’ll have a good laugh, maybe an extra drink or two, and call it an evening.

Send me an email if you’re interested.

Please, no crazies. (Dear god, no crazies.) This is a very legit offer and an important event, so it would be great if you didn’t OD in the bathroom. Cheers.

PostingID: 1689592186

How could I not respond? Poor kid, I felt so bad for him. Yet I was so IMPRESSED that he posted this…talk about keeping it real. Moreover, this is the most well-written posting on Craigslist I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading…

So I had to tell him.

Soon we will meet for coffee and see if we can come up with some elaborate story of how we met involving stolen cars, international intrigue, and unicorns.

You might be wondering “what is Ashley getting out of this?”

1. Dinner
2. Drinks
3. A chance to dress up and look pretty
4. The opportunity to snag a lawyer or two, or three…
(they’ll be like sitting ducks…unknowing…it’s almost too easy)
3. At least 2 or 3 blog posts

🙂

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One Response to “Craigslist posting that I actually responded to…”

  1. Christopher Says:

    You make me laugh…… really, you make me laugh. Thank you-

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