Lindsey’s Latest “Dear Diary”

Dear Diary,

Last night I became belligerently drunk and threw water balloon condoms at people off of my balcony again. It was great except one of the condoms had a big hole in it (dodged a baby there) and I woke up still drunk this morning. I thought an Asian man whom is supposed to be my new room mate opened my door, screamed, and then walked out. I have been waiting for him to come out ever since, but no luck. I wanted to welcome him to Madrid and take him out for food but there is still no trace of him.

I have considered several options to lure him out:

A. I could cook something specifically designed to lure out an Asian, but rice doesn’t smell strongly enough to get his attention.

B. I could walk around naked because Asian’s love blonde girls, but I don’t smell strongly enough to get his attention.

or

C. I could do math problems out loud in order to coax him from his solitude–but math problems don’t smell strongly enough to get his attention (also, I don’t know if I have the numerical prowess to pull this off.)

Knocking on his door is completely out of the question.

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