Archive for March, 2010

Lindsey’s Latest “Dear Diary”

Posted in Family Time with tags , , on March 31, 2010 by indomitablyirresistible

Dear Diary,

Last night I became belligerently drunk and threw water balloon condoms at people off of my balcony again. It was great except one of the condoms had a big hole in it (dodged a baby there) and I woke up still drunk this morning. I thought an Asian man whom is supposed to be my new room mate opened my door, screamed, and then walked out. I have been waiting for him to come out ever since, but no luck. I wanted to welcome him to Madrid and take him out for food but there is still no trace of him.

I have considered several options to lure him out:

A. I could cook something specifically designed to lure out an Asian, but rice doesn’t smell strongly enough to get his attention.

B. I could walk around naked because Asian’s love blonde girls, but I don’t smell strongly enough to get his attention.

or

C. I could do math problems out loud in order to coax him from his solitude–but math problems don’t smell strongly enough to get his attention (also, I don’t know if I have the numerical prowess to pull this off.)

Knocking on his door is completely out of the question.

I can’t say I’m a Miley Cyrus fan myself…

Posted in Cool Music, Videos with tags , , , on March 31, 2010 by indomitablyirresistible

Yo Chris…let’s get Kennedy on here doing this–she’s way cuter.

Dear Diary: “IBM’s Smarter Planet” Campaign is Misleading

Posted in Making fun of Dumbasses, Reviews, The Rage with tags , , , , , on March 30, 2010 by indomitablyirresistible

Dear Diary:

I didn’t even realize the company was still alive—I figured they died out somewhere in the late 90’s. But I started seeing this campaign everywhere, on outdoor billboards, in airports, on subways, and every time I’d think to myself

“really? IBM? Smart?”

but then I’d think “wow Ash, don’t be such an a-hole, maybe they’re making a comeback.”

(Shaking head)

A few months ago, my company was hazed into switching from Microsoft Outlook to Lotus Notes. I repeat, LOTUS NOTES: the IBM equivalent of Outlook. I’d never heard of it prior to this, but turns out Lotus Notes was the “Microsoft Outlook” before Microsoft Outlook.

I’m pretty sure I speak for 700+people when I say that Lotus sucks. It’s terrible. Awful. Just plain DUMB. Actually, I feel a little dumber everyday because I use it.

Are you listening IBM??? LOTUS BLOWS. IT IS THE VERY ANTITHESIS (that means “opposite”) OF SMART.

Proof: We got a company-wide email from our Tech department saying that we had to re-format our Lotus passwords to make our systems more secure. Apparently preexisting Lotus security measures weren’t enough.

When I signed on to Lotus, I received the text box pictured below, and almost threw up while reading it:

I swear it took me at least 5 minutes to create a password that fit these 12 little obscenities.

Diary, if you were to look around people’s cubicles, you’d notice sticky notes with jibberish written on them: our new “secure” passwords we had to write down because they were so damn secure, we can’t remember them. Now I really feel secure.

What a smart solution.

Piano Guy is the Shizzzzzz…

Posted in beautifully disturbing, Cool Music, Cultural Education, Just for fun, Unique Encounters with tags , on March 25, 2010 by indomitablyirresistible

Why didn’t I get someone cool like this on ChatRoulette? Instead I got a bunch of pervs. And where is the Tarot Card reader???

Sigh.

“I’m Not Your Toy” by La Roux

Posted in Cool Music, Family Time with tags , , on March 24, 2010 by indomitablyirresistible

A song I heard recently that’s not bad…

(This one goes out to Kennedy. I wish I could see her dance!!!)

(Left to Right: Lindsey and Kennedy. CUTE!!!)

This is why…

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on March 23, 2010 by indomitablyirresistible

I HATE EATING on first, second, third, and sometimes fourth dates. It’s inevitable that you’ll get something stuck in your teeth. And your date probably won’t tell you because it’s only the first, second, third, and sometimes fourth date. Or because they are just mean.

I was telling the birthday girl that she had a head of broccoli stuck in her teeth. What a good sister I am…

Dinner was at the Antique Garage, and I have to say, the decor was beautiful and the food was pretty damn good…

,

SQUASH??

Posted in Reviews, Sexy Time, Videos with tags , , , , on March 22, 2010 by indomitablyirresistible

I’ve never heard of it—but suddenly I want to learn how to play…

🙂

Yes, sex is easy. Too easy. So no, they don’t get points for creativity. But sex sells. So whatever…I’ll take it.

Lol. Enjoy.