If I was an App…

My boss asked me today if I was a phone app, what would I be?

I answered:

“if I was an app, I would be the Break Up App: you type in the real reason you’re breaking up with someone (ie “she’s a leech and sucking the life out of me”) and then I generate a polite way to say the same thing (ie: “I think we just have different needs”)”

Later on I was considering this answer…and decided that ultimately I would fail as this app. Why? Because when asked why I’m blowing someone off indefinitely, I always go with the truth. It’s not about morality–it’s just easier and less time consuming. Making up a [believable] lie takes way more energy than the dude is worth.  Here are some of my recent responses to recent “why don’t you want to see me anymore” questions…

“because you’re a stalker”

“because you texted me 17 times after our first date”

“because I’m just not attracted to you, either mentally or physically.”

One recently said to me:  “maybe our paths will cross some years down the road”

and I responded:

“Regardless, we will NEVER be together again. Ever.”

Harsh? Maybe. But it’s better than giving someone false hope…

Damn–now I have to think of a new app for me…


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