I Have Your Dongle

I discovered a new piece of hardware today that was especially fun and exciting. The gadget itself is nothing sexy. Actually, it’s fairly ordinary– a fancy cord that:

“attaches to a computer in order to make a piece of secured software run… [wisegeeks.com]

It lay in a conference room, abandoned by its owner. I went back to my desk and started to draft an email to all the participants in the meeting, only to discover I had no idea what the thing was called! Poking my head over my cubicle wall, I said to my nice Italian neighbor:

“What’s this called??” (holding it up)

“A Dongle” he said with a completely straight face.

Confusion ensued…damn his sexy Italian accent and my perverted mind!

“A what???” I said…

“A Dongle” he repeated slowly, this time with a smirk.

“I’m sorry, can you spell that for me???” I said incredulously.

“D-O-N-G-L-E”

Riiiiight…

After confirming that my Italian neighbor wasn’t trying to make me look like an ass in front of all the executives I was about to email, I drafted and sent the following:

Hello all:

Someone left their…dongle…in Liberty after the Iron Planners meeting.

It’s a small white piece of hardware that connects to a laptop or desktop computer…and apparently it’s called a dongle.

If you find that you have misplaced your dongle, come stop by my desk and pick it up.

My cubicle: 5b39

Sincerely,

Ashley The Almighty

It took all the self-control I possessed to keep it even that PG. Now at home and with the privacy (?) of my own blog, I’m going to let the middle-schooler in me get this out of her system so we can all move on with life. Here goes:

How can someone misplace their dongle?

I have your dongle.

I’ve never seen a dongle like this before.

Come by my desk and grab your dongle.

The end of this dongle looks weird…I wonder if it will fit.

Why does your dongle look smaller than mine?

Let’s compare dongles.

I need a dongle for this presentation.

Your dongle doesn’t seem to be working. You might need a new dongle.

One can never have too many dongles.

Don’t be such a dongle!!!

Sigh…ok, I think I can go to bed now.

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